Hasbro IS LISTENING! the math speaks for itself!

[thelaminator]

i know, all of us are complaining "Hasbro, why won't you listen to us?" while they have been. we just weren't specific enough.

Exhibit A: HydroBlitz
Fans, 2006: "we want blasters the size of old cps blasters, and PC's with the same power!"
Hasbro, 2007: "this is the hydroblitz. it has a huge, high pressure 30-oz PC. it's also pretty big."

see, in this example, hasbro exploited a loophole in which they gave us what we wanted, but put in extra crap to make it suck as bad as other blasters of that year.

Exhibit B: Hydrocannon

Fans, 2010: "we want a blaster the size of older cps blasters, has only one strong pressure chamber, and has more than 20x output)
Hasbro, 2011: "this is the hydrocannon. it has one extremely powerful pressure chamber, and if you 'crunch the numbers', it has 24x output!"

here, they exploited another loophole. in this case, they used a bladder so powerful, and with such a small capacity, it dumps itself in .25 seconds. it holds 6oz, and if you multiply it by 4, to make for a full second, they're right, it is 24x. too bad 24oz isn't actually leaving the nozzle.

Conclusion:

i could go on about loopholes and legal garbage, but you don't need that to see what's going on: they know what we want, they just make it so it seems like we're not getting it, so we complain more, and they make profit. i'm not saying don't complain. i'm saying if you're gonna complain, hire a decent lawyer

Note: sidetracking left this back in the depths of my computer for quite some time now. this was meant to be an "april 1" joke. still kinda funny to think about, i guess...

there's nothing fashionable about lateness.

EDIT: minor grammar fixes.

[carbonate]

fascinating read too bad they are Hasbro... I wonder what we' ll get next...

[martianshark]

WE WANT A SIMPLE BLASTER THAT'S CPS AND HAS A BIG PRESSURE CHAMBER THAT HOLDS AT LEAST 20 OZ AND HAS A VARIETY OF NOZZLE SELECTIONS SUCH AS 1X, 5X, 10X, AND MAYBE 20X, AND SHOOTS FOR A AT LEAST A FEW SECONDS.

[carbonate]

What about the reservoir capacity ? Can't forgot about that one... and range too... It wouldn't be good if it just dumps 20X 5m

[martianshark]

WE WANT A SIMPLE BLASTER THAT'S CPS AND HAS A BIG PRESSURE CHAMBER THAT HOLDS AT LEAST 20 OZ AND HAS A VARIETY OF NOZZLE SELECTIONS SUCH AS 1X, 5X, 10X, AND MAYBE 20X, AND SHOOTS FOR A AT LEAST A FEW SECONDS AND HAS A RESERVOIR THAT HOLDS AT LEAST 5 TIMES AS MUCH WATER AS THE PRESSURE CHAMBER AND SHOOTS AT LEAST 40 FEET.

[scottthewaterwarrior]

Lets simplify this, shall we? We want a CPS 2500 that is identical to the original down to the individual atoms in the copyright label saying "Copyright 1997 Larami inc." Try finding a loophole in that one!

Loophole: They make the exact duplicate, then take a shrink ray that works by shrinking the atoms themselves, and use it to make the gun the size of the Microburst. <- Probably could come up with a better one given time, but for now that's all I got.

[DX]

Loophole: They make the exact duplicate, then take a shrink ray that works by shrinking the atoms themselves, and use it to make the gun the size of the Microburst. <- Probably could come up with a better one given time, but for now that's all I got.

^ 2 words: Keychain soakers

[scottthewaterwarrior]

Loophole: They make the exact duplicate, then take a shrink ray that works by shrinking the atoms themselves, and use it to make the gun the size of the Microburst. <- Probably could come up with a better one given time, but for now that's all I got.

^ 2 words: Keychain soakers

I thought of that, but I mentioned that it had to be identical to the individual atoms. Even with Star Trek technology it probably isn't possible to replicate something that precisely anyway (maybe they can, the little Star Trek I know is mostly from T.O.S.).

I doubt Hasbro actually listens to us, otherwise they would have mentioned in their commercials "on request by the people, we bring you...!" Just thought of something, last years models brought on whole new meaning to the term "you know you have to many soakers when: you can outsoak a thunderstorm!"

[kbuno50]

There is a typo in the title which makes it sound like "lightning", which is a co-incidence because of the lightning-storm.

WE WANT A SIMPLE BLASTER THAT'S CPS AND HAS A BIG PRESSURE CHAMBER THAT HOLDS AT LEAST 20 OZ AND HAS A VARIETY OF NOZZLE SELECTIONS SUCH AS 1X, 5X, 10X, AND MAYBE 20X, AND SHOOTS FOR A AT LEAST A FEW SECONDS AND HAS A RESERVOIR THAT HOLDS AT LEAST 5 TIMES AS MUCH WATER AS THE PRESSURE CHAMBER AND SHOOTS AT LEAST 40 FEET.

What if they use electricity to pump up the pressure chamber?

[HBWW]

"We want a combat-effective water blaster that can compete against the old CPS's."

"Okay. The Super Soaker Thunderstorm is combat effective in indoor water wars where pressurized blasters are banned, thus there's not even any competition at all!"

[thelaminator]

Lets simplify this, shall we? We want a CPS 2500 that is identical to the original down to the individual atoms in the copyright label saying "Copyright 1997 Larami inc." Try finding a loophole in that one!

Hasbro: we'll make a horrible CPS2500 remake, but with the atomically-identical copyright label

[HBWW]

Lets simplify this, shall we? We want a CPS 2500 that is identical to the original down to the individual atoms in the copyright label saying "Copyright 1997 Larami inc." Try finding a loophole in that one!

I don't know how many 2500's were manufactured back in the day; let's go with 800,000. That is 800,000+ possibilities for the re-release to be identical to, but then you have to account for when on each model. Do you make it atomically identical to the 36,456th 2500 right as they finished packaging it, or do you make it identical to the same 2500 after it gets picked up and taken to the store's checkout?

[scottthewaterwarrior]

I think you are over thinking it a bit.

How's this:
We want a gun that is reliable and can match the CPS2500 in every way.

Oh wait, I have a better idea, we want you to sell the SS name and all the patents to Buzz Bee Toys for $10 because they won't screw everything up. They will never do that, mind you, but I think it would be hard for it to go wrong that way.

[HBWW]

We want a gun that is reliable and can match the CPS2500 in every way.

Well we managed to not only match, but even exceed the 2500's capability of usefulness in indoor wars where proper water blasters are banned!

[GJIV]

They should better go and take some extra lessons at Loony Johnson's...This may change something deep in this terrible mess called hasbro

[scottthewaterwarrior]

I do kind of wonder what happened to him, (he's not still part of the design team, is he?) I did a research paper on him for a class this year, the sites I used didn't really say much about what he's doing now. If they ever start making hair driers, like in isoaker's comic, I think we will see him then: "Breaking news, Lonnie Johnson disowns SuperSoaker!"

[atvan]

He used his money to buy himself a lab. He is developing a cell which converts heat energy to electricity. Very interesting stuff actually. Remember, he was a scientist first.

[scottthewaterwarrior]

He used his money to buy himself a lab. He is developing a cell which converts heat energy to electricity. Very interesting stuff actually. Remember, he was a scientist first.

I know, like I said, I did a reserch project on him only a few months ago. Where'd you find that, all I got from the places I checked was something like "he is continuing to work for a better tomorrow," or some baloney like that that didn't mean anything.

[DX]

Fixed the title, got tired of looking at Hasbro Litening :p

[atvan]

Saw it on CNN a year or two back.