Water Warfare Rap!

[SEAL]

I got this idea from TheSoaker's thread. I took a rap song ("Look At Me Now", by Chris Brown) and rewrote the lyrics to make it more water warfare-related. I actually based it more on Mac Lethal's pancake rap (a parody of Look At Me Now; check it out!) than the original song. Now, I'm not a world-class rap writer, so don't give me flack if some of the lyrics don't flow too well. I sort of did it in my head. It was fun to write though.

Yes, there are swear words in this song (it's a rap song, come on), but I censored them. It is meant to be rapped at a rather brisk pace (maybe around 8-9 syllables per second in some parts), so it might not sound right if you picture it being rapped slower.

Yo, yellow enemies, white water blasta
Put a bit o' water in the tank when it overflows cut the garden hose pressa
Yeah, yeah. There ain't no pumping required
That's a really good thing 'cause whenever I pump my arm always gets really tired
Ladies love me, I soak you all day
Everybody wanna come 'n' challenge me in a water war so I said okay
But Imma warn ya'll right here right now,
that I'm the best fighter around, you'll never see me coming I'm taking you down!

Shoot at me now, oh!
Shoot at me now, yeah!
You'll never hit me!
Shoot at me now, oh!
Shoot at me now, oh! Yeah!

Fresha than a muthaf***a!
Everybody comin' at me like I told 'em so before sayin' bro
Looks like I gotta step things up a bit and show 'em I'm a real pro
No pumping required I just pull the trigga
Not much water comin' out why ain't the stream bigga?
Gotta run they can't catch me cuz I'm a real n****
I'm faster than ya'll
I'm smarter than ya'll
I'm given it my all
and I ain't never ever gettin' soaked no matta what they be bringin' cuz I'm...
I'm hit...

Ha, ha, ha. Yo Breezy, let me show you how to kick some @$$ when you're fightin' in a war like that homie.
Let's go!
Imma pumpin' and a-jumpin' into this thing like I'm a psycho, that's right though, lookin' for a fight bro
Your battery-powered crap ain't gonna do s*** against my CPS blaster
And when I come in and rap all you n****s s*** in your pants because I'm much faster
than you and my skills are comparable to the best of the best and I ain't even talkin' 'bout what happens to the rest
and I hit you from the east and I hit you from the west and you really don't wanna know what happens next!
Gotta get up and bring back Larami, Hasbro doesn't cut it makin' things that go "nee-nee-nee"
At least we've still got BBT, but they still ain't good enough for me
I WANT POWER!
Watch me as I jump up on the stage, guns blazing all my enemies feel my rage
One kill, two kills, three kills, four kills; I ain't done yet I just turn the page
Now I'm rockin' duel 2Ks layin' down the law like Imma dictator lookin' for world domination
I'm unbelievably deadly rackin' up more kills than ever that's seventeen for your information
My enemies they thought that they could faze me now they in a predicament that they ain't ever gettin' outta
They more soaked than the Super Soaker Liberation Front and they're runnin' outta water
Let's speed it up for the final annihilation!
I hit 'em up and down from the cup to the crown and I'm not even considering the thought of slowing down
The water in my res' is almost down the drain only two men to go I'm comin' up wit' the rain
poppin' these muthaf***as in their little brains with a half pressure chamber still bulging like my veins
I'm d***in' wit' 'em while lickin' 'em and kickin' 'em and stickin' 'em wit' frickin' chicken s***!

That's how you do it!
Now get out there and fight; move it!
Lose the crappy Super Soaker. Hasbro's killed that brand.
I'm the world's only water warfare rapper, how 'bout I get a hand?

I hope to see you on the battlefield. Let the battle begin, folks.

No, I will not rap it on film.

[scottthewaterwarrior]

Not bad, I understand why you wouldn't want to rap it on film. I recorded one of my songs once (I deleted it), it always sound so good in my head but in real life I can't carry a tune to save my life!

I wrote a song about water warfare once, it was more heavy metal though. Nowhere near as long either, though it wasn't a parody. Strange, I guess people just don't appreciate amateur song writers, no one ever noticed mine either.

[HBWW]

Put this rap on record and play it to us over loudspeakers at the League Opener. No, seriously, do it, I double dare you. (Insert finishing lines from Pulp Fiction and a headshot execution with a Max-D 2000 here.)

[Poseidon2000]

I'll bet $30 to make that happen.

[SEAL]

I'll record it if someone is willing to pay me in quad-digit amounts (to the left side of the decimal point!) or supply my whole team with CPS 2000s. I'd have to warn you though, I'll probably sound like a sick elephant who's high on every kind of drug known to man; and that's if I don't tie my tongue into a knot. Additionally, I don't really have any song recording software, and I know as much about music as my parents know about water guns. I've actually never tried writing a song before; just figured I'd try it out after seeing TheSoaker's thread. Like I said, it was actually a lot of fun to write.

MC Scott could probably kill it though.

[DX]

If you lose one of the rivalry rounds, you need to sing it for the whole team

[isoaker]

I'd consider paying SEAL NOT to sing this!

[the oncoming storm]

I vote with Isoaker on this

[SEAL]

How about you guys bid on it? I'll do whatever the person who pays me the most wants me to do! Hey, gotta get money somehow.

[DX]

What would my whole arsenal get me? :p

Also, I'll start off the bidding with a broken Max-D 3000.

[TheSoaker]

Hey seal, I'll do my song if you do yours. I'm serious.

[isoaker]

Also, I'll start off the bidding with a broken Max-D 3000.

Ok, you win. SEAL needs to sing!

[SEAL]

Hey seal, I'll do my song if you do yours. I'm serious.

But my song is insanely harder than yours, haha (unless you want to try doing yours at quadruple speed or something). Perhaps I'll consider singing/rapping it if we get 20 or more active participants at Downpour this year. Seriously though, I don't think you guys want to hear me trying to sing anything.

If we're doing the bidding thing, I'll have you know that there's a reserve (not telling what it is).

[HBWW]

Note to self: Never write water warfare themed songs/raps.

Although I can most certainly do a "water warfare themed" drum solo if anyone has a drumset. =p I'll make mystical cymbal sounds to represent the soft, calm waters, and then aggressive heavy metal blast beats to represent fast attacks and soaks.

[Poseidon2000]

I'll pay you $0001. and I'll bid my.... CPS 1000. if SEAL doesn't do this.

[DX]

I'll raise my bid to a working Max-D 3000.